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i wish i could find the design that could make up my mind
how many lungs does it take before we run out of time?
caged birds make me believe that there was a chance to starve
but the time is now
to make the difference that could change the world
but what if the world wont change for me?
where am i suppose to find the secret that life has to offer me
i switched up my life as i cut out my own eyes
i thought that nothing else mattered
i can make my own bets but the odds are against me
i walk around like nothing exists to me
as im walking over the minds of other people
i stare into the mirror as a last design
i see my face change through the sands of time
and i understand
that the younger get older and the older get younger
but i dont exist to myself
whats right and whats wrong?
im sick of finding the answers the dont belong
asking questions that have lost their meaning
why do i feel this way?
why has love hated me?
remembering my days as my troubles wont flee me
as the caged birds are set free
only to hover above me
the only slave to society
the only slave to myself
what seemed free becomes a cage
i drown in my sorrow
and i cry in my skin
nothing seems to water me back to life
and the thought that fails to escape
the world is the only place that can help me travel through space
but i destroyed it
no ground to walk on no more
no birds to fly on no more
no thoughts
no laughter
no love.
just the pain
the sorrow
and the ever after.
i hear white birds singing in the morning light
i hear dark birds moaning in the darkness of the night.

the countdown to this transition, the last note on this destruction

the blast lasted no more than 20 minutes
when i found my image in the water looking back at me
and the reflection of my gaze in the mirror winking at me
i never thought this is the man that i have become
a dead body gone to sleep
it was my air that kept me awake for so long
and my god you can hear the pounding of my heart in heaven
the faith of the world sleeps
while my destruction weeps
the only time i have to pray is when i write
my thoughts that go on wandering on this day shouting "God help me!"
i havent gone insane but i feel my body ready to go that way
im patient as i lie, as i rest into the morning light
nothing like a windowless room to keep you quiet at night
so i struggle in the thoughts of destruction
can you feel the illness beneath your toes
the dirt whispers my resting time has come
ive been lying in this bathroom for so long starring at my reflection frowning at me
my hair drips with sweat i hear the sirens come closer
as the voices become louder in the halls
i close my eyes as ive forgotten myself
im not the person that i use to be
allow me to make this final statement: remember me.

Micah 3:2

people say that he is not real
and that he does not exist
that science proves all things wrong
that man is convincing the world of faith
people tend to forget the goodness in this world
and let evil take over their minds in the blood of the wicked
rather than to actually strive for something to have everything
ive talked to people and ive heard their words
i do not accept there opinions because it is only an a opinion and it is not true

they try to shatter my soul
but i built my soul on faith and love
and nothing can tear it down
if they get close to it they will just melt
i built it like a fortress i built it to the surface
for the blood of life i live in i have swam in
and my sins are there, but in Jesus i pray to wash my sins away

as for the rest of the sinners and the evil empires that stand in front of me on this earth
what i know and believe is true
and i stand here to warn you
that there is a hell
and God is coming.

cat and mouse

your dancing around this room as if you were dancing on the dead
lay down your roses and that dress of yours
im wearing a tie, black tie smothered in blood
reign down the love from the sky
wash these sins of us away
let her lust dwell in the house of the lord
get out while you can
save yourself
the faith of the world is depending on us
im setting this all ablaze
the wolves are out. the wolves are roaming the streets tonight
ive sold my soul
now i have nothing to lose
cattle the sheep, and gather the armies
strengthen the fists
watch out for false prophets. they come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.
-Matthew 7:15

this jokes killing me

oh, how kind and quiet it is. on this dark knight theres a light that steers us home. this world has gone crazy, crazy with people born to insanity. what fear really is, these people master that skill. almost like they want to be members of the evil society, straight from hell. the devils sons. the pain is picked up every night when the sun sets. in their minds (god isnt watching us now.) how often can you smell the streets, do you smell the blood on the walls? walking in the allies do you feel ghosts starring at you as you ignore them? peace seems like a joke when your being haunted. i tell myself "ignore the images" as they pick on me. "ignore the voices" that linger on into my head. ive been down but i will tell you what. "Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?" ive been crying my whole life. but now im laughing it off. im on retirement.

what death truely smells like

welcome back to this noose traitor
this is a story thats better left unsaid
you've stabbed me in the back and left me for dead
ive found your heart like an anchor in the sea, still dragging its way back home
i will reveal this war to the world
legions will rise
and the angels will fly
"your world still remains at the front of the altar. where robes of pharaohs lay down their lives. priests walk hand in hand giving out the eucharist. the faith of the world has been bought. armageddon is for sale. and im not buying it."

...and then i am dead

is that why the world will end because we've learned so much from this earth that there is no more to be found?
is dying really such a bad thing?
ive learned to let go, not really give up
but just let my body go, and let my mind flow
i guess i live in a world within a world.